Here's a list of weird jobs I have had to support myself while I make weird art that not a lot of people want to buy.
While I was in school, I worked for Universal Studios in Orlando in their entertainment department, and this led to a lot of exciting opportunities.
Here I am as the Macy's star during the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, which was a parade that frightened and confused people because it went on for months before Christmas with no explanation, and had the weirdest collection of characters, including Uncle Sams on stilts, girls dressed as sexy pieces of cake, clowns with ominous numbers on their faces, a guy with a big sparkly stick, and Santa Claus.
They told us to high five children, but none of the children really wanted to high five us, because we were scary.
I also got to work for Universal during their Halloween Horror Nights event! Every young girl dreams of the day her phone rings and the voice on the other end says “Hello, Kendra, we'd like to offer you the role of Zombie Hooker”.
I was told not to high five children at this event. I was NOT told about all the drunk dudes who would try to climb on the stage with me. I was very young and naïve.
And then I did a Mardi Gras parade! Look at how cute we are!
I've been a bird trainer. (That's a harris hawk, who is overcome by my bosom.)
I've been a zookeeper, like, a million times.
Sometimes I am also in movies! I did a lot of theater in high school, until I discovered that I have terrible stage fright and hate when people look at me. That self discovery took about five years, so high school was an uncomfortable and confusing time for me. That being said, acting in movies is a lot easier for me now because people are all looking at the actual actors and no one is paying attention to that one extra who is holding her gun upside down and just ran into a wall. Also, I have worked on a lot of projects that have required me to sign terrifying Non Disclosure Agreements, but I did not actually read those NDAs and so I am really hopeful I am not breaking any of them right now? Oh god. Please don't sue me.
This is leftover makeup from a day on Mockingjay Part 1! (I AM IN THE BATHTUB WASHING IT OFF, DO NOT JUDGE MY NUDITY).
THIS WAS THE FACE I MADE BECAUSE I WAS ON SET WITH HAWKEYE. EVEN THOUGH HE WASN'T HAWKEYE IN THIS PARTICULAR FILM, HE IS HAWKEYE FOREVER IN MY HEART. (This was for Kill The Messenger, starring Hawkeye. And me. I was the sexy costar.)
I got to be an adorable 1950s stewardess in The Last Of Robin Hood and also almost accidentally murdered Dakota Fanning on some airplane stairs. (Sorry, Dakota, ily.)
I've been so lucky that the jobs I've taken to pay the bills while I create art have all been unbelievably fun. Maybe I should start dressing up in weird outfits when I paint? Ha, that is a very funny joke because usually when I paint I am only wearing a tshirt and am covered in a lot of art supplies. I should not wear weird outfits when I paint. That is a terrible idea, Kendra. Go brush your teeth or something.